Attitude of the non stereotypical slave is tantamount to the survival of the slave and the slave persona. Assumed Superiority and inferiority are just that, assumed and expected. When this aspect does not seem present it calls into question by some the validity of the leather relationship and whether the couple that professes this difference in being is really a true leather person or couple. For the switch person, this can be a relentless conundrum of feelings and emotions of rejection and deletion from various aspects of community life that can be devastating to the individual psyche and to the conformity of the group.
Some very simple guidelines for appropriate behaviors can be made quite complicated such as, the submissive always lighting any dominants cigarette or acting as a personal servant runner to all the dominants and not knowing where one ends and another begins. Common courtesy seemingly does not fit the mold sometimes and a big ruckus ensues and various other protocols are called into question as adequate or inadequate in the person’s life and way of doing things.
I am feeling that perhaps this would be a spot for some open discussion and sharing to create an awareness of the various likeness and difference in every relational experience and recognize those as defining terms and actions for the individual, couple and group.
“The Boys' Bill of Rights (© by LaboursLost)
1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.
2. Every boy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every boy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.
4. Every boy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.
5. Every boy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No boy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.
6. Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every boy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Doms without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every boy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.
Post, repost, and repost again.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Stereotypes
Master/slave, Daddy/boy, Pig/piglet, etc…
“If a man doesn't value himself, he cannot value his word as an expression of his Self.”
Have you ever had any of these terms imposed on you personally and it was not a fit for you? How about the scenario where it was expected, just because of a collar around your neck that you must do things a certain way and follow a certain set of rules laid down by someone else? Of course, these mysterious rules and guidelines are sometimes referred to as protocols in the leather world but there are no set protocols from city to city or region to region that even match completely. How very confusing for even the most advanced member of the leather community.
Now, you may ask, gentle reader, why I bring this up in a discussion of stereotypes in this section. The stereotypical definition of a Master is a strong man that is completely in charge of everyone and everything in his line of vision and perhaps things that He does not even have a clue exist yet, much like a God of the Universe. The stereotypical slave is a lowlife, stupid person of the male subhuman species that has no mind and has the penchant for being led, never a leader in any way. In this stereotype, the slave has absolutely no say and no will at all; it is all the will of the Master.
This may be the case with some situations of Master/slave but not necessarily all of them. I was brought out into the leather world as a young Marine in 1976 and learned a lot from my first Master. The protocols that are natural in my life were created there and through military training and even go back to cub and boy scouts. Oh, by the way, just as an FYI, my first Master was also a Marine and did not let up on anything in my training or attitude development so I will go from that point here.
It has been my personal experience that the stereotypical Master/slave set up or relationship is one of intense trust and devotion of the Master to the slave and the slave to the Master as in one complements the other. The protocols are there, but they tend to be developed between the two people involved and are congruent with their life and lifestyle.
The Daddy/boy phenomena came about in the 1980’s and began with Drummer Magazine and propelled forward to International Mr. Leather with a posting on the door of a room at the host hotel concerning a gathering of all slaves/subs/boys and puppy’s for the purpose of organizing and beginning to be human and recognized that way. Thus began a new age of relationships in the leather world that was on the opening side of communication and negotiation such as is spoken of in today’s leather world.
The Daddy/boy relational qualities involve a more open mind set than the Master/slave in this slave boy’s and is congruent with the way I have morphed through all these decades.
To many that profess the Old Guard qualities and ideals, it is seemingly out of character with the way any submissive man should be. However, as one that has lived the Old Guard way and believes in the traditions that are good and healthy about it, well, that is just not the case for me. Old Guard is built on some bedrocks of communication, both verbal and non-verbal that can be very intense and yet highly intimate at the same time. More about this later in the Trust section, but it does need mentioning here I do believe.
“If a man doesn't value himself, he cannot value his word as an expression of his Self.”
Have you ever had any of these terms imposed on you personally and it was not a fit for you? How about the scenario where it was expected, just because of a collar around your neck that you must do things a certain way and follow a certain set of rules laid down by someone else? Of course, these mysterious rules and guidelines are sometimes referred to as protocols in the leather world but there are no set protocols from city to city or region to region that even match completely. How very confusing for even the most advanced member of the leather community.
Now, you may ask, gentle reader, why I bring this up in a discussion of stereotypes in this section. The stereotypical definition of a Master is a strong man that is completely in charge of everyone and everything in his line of vision and perhaps things that He does not even have a clue exist yet, much like a God of the Universe. The stereotypical slave is a lowlife, stupid person of the male subhuman species that has no mind and has the penchant for being led, never a leader in any way. In this stereotype, the slave has absolutely no say and no will at all; it is all the will of the Master.
This may be the case with some situations of Master/slave but not necessarily all of them. I was brought out into the leather world as a young Marine in 1976 and learned a lot from my first Master. The protocols that are natural in my life were created there and through military training and even go back to cub and boy scouts. Oh, by the way, just as an FYI, my first Master was also a Marine and did not let up on anything in my training or attitude development so I will go from that point here.
It has been my personal experience that the stereotypical Master/slave set up or relationship is one of intense trust and devotion of the Master to the slave and the slave to the Master as in one complements the other. The protocols are there, but they tend to be developed between the two people involved and are congruent with their life and lifestyle.
The Daddy/boy phenomena came about in the 1980’s and began with Drummer Magazine and propelled forward to International Mr. Leather with a posting on the door of a room at the host hotel concerning a gathering of all slaves/subs/boys and puppy’s for the purpose of organizing and beginning to be human and recognized that way. Thus began a new age of relationships in the leather world that was on the opening side of communication and negotiation such as is spoken of in today’s leather world.
The Daddy/boy relational qualities involve a more open mind set than the Master/slave in this slave boy’s and is congruent with the way I have morphed through all these decades.
To many that profess the Old Guard qualities and ideals, it is seemingly out of character with the way any submissive man should be. However, as one that has lived the Old Guard way and believes in the traditions that are good and healthy about it, well, that is just not the case for me. Old Guard is built on some bedrocks of communication, both verbal and non-verbal that can be very intense and yet highly intimate at the same time. More about this later in the Trust section, but it does need mentioning here I do believe.
The Leater Boy Stigma
Have you been subjected to the stigma of the Leather Boy yet in your quest for life in the leather world? I have experienced this as of late in my current situation and am looking for input and an open discussion about ways of dealing with this stigma and perhaps breaking the barriers that surround this area of any relationship.
“Service is serious play: serious because it is intense and meaningful, play because it takes place in a bounded space with (evolving) rules, separate from life. The best service is 'no-limits' based on trust in a DOM Man. 'No limits' does not mean that 'anything goes', but rather that a Man is worthy of trust, and the sub accepts that the DOM will not harm him or abuse him, and accepts HIS power without negotiating.”
“We have all been hurt in the past, holding current relationships accountable for our own inability to get complete with our past hurts is not effective in terms of our own personal development.”
“If a boy is being trained and developed, then I think it's to be expected that at times he will operate from his emotional responses... due diligence as his Sir/Master requires using judgment to assess whether or not the infraction is intentionally malicious.”
“Service is serious play: serious because it is intense and meaningful, play because it takes place in a bounded space with (evolving) rules, separate from life. The best service is 'no-limits' based on trust in a DOM Man. 'No limits' does not mean that 'anything goes', but rather that a Man is worthy of trust, and the sub accepts that the DOM will not harm him or abuse him, and accepts HIS power without negotiating.”
“We have all been hurt in the past, holding current relationships accountable for our own inability to get complete with our past hurts is not effective in terms of our own personal development.”
“If a boy is being trained and developed, then I think it's to be expected that at times he will operate from his emotional responses... due diligence as his Sir/Master requires using judgment to assess whether or not the infraction is intentionally malicious.”
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
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